Legolas from Lord of the Rings learns new skills in a way that makes you curl up with embarrassment. Even his pop-star wife can barely feign interest
Are you a fan of Legolas in Lord of the Rings, Katy Perry’s husband or knock-off Rufus Sewell (I think that covers all the categories he can be found in), Orlando Bloom? Do you want to see him do something dangerous while bro-ing down in a mockney accent that is only slightly more irritating than the Buddhist chanting he does with the alpha Americans who teach him the dangerous things? You do? You don’t think it will be wildly boring to watch? You don’t think you’ll be in danger of turning inside out with embarrassment as you listen to him say things such as, “My greatest fear is that I won’t overcome my fear and that it will consume me”? Or “I think I’m a collector of experiences”? Or “There’s nobody not living vitally in our family”? Or “I never feel so alive being so close to death”?
No? OK then – have I got great news for you! Orlando Bloom: to the Edge is a three-part series containing all this and more. Much more! And, at the same time, much less! In the first episode, (which is, by the grace of some benevolent god, the only one available for review) Bloom must learn to skydive and wingsuit in under two weeks. I say “must”. Bloom has chosen to learn to skydive and wingsuit in under two weeks because: a) actors are easily bored, b) actors are quite stupid, c) he wants to d) he wants the money that comes with making a television series about it, e) needs a timeframe that should in theory infuse proceedings with a compelling sense of jeopardy or f) a combination of some or all of the above.
Orlando Bloom: To the Edge is streaming on U now, and in Australia on 7plus
